Published: March 21, 2026
I was about to follow Noah to the helm and get up to go back to my room when I found Sato and Kyousuke standing in front of me.
"Oi, Akira."
"Hm?"
I tilted my head at Sato's unnaturally cheerful smile, and Kyousuke gripped my arm tightly—probably so I wouldn't run. I could have slipped free, but I had no reason to, so I stayed put.
"...What is it?"
"After we fought those demons in Krul's town, didn't I say Asahina and I wanted to talk with you when we returned to the ship? Since you're on lookout duty now, we figured we'd come along and talk while you're at it."
"Huh?"
Did he really say that?
I glanced at Kyousuke. He just shook his head silently like he was telling me to give up. So he had said it.
Night hopped off my shoulder and stretched right there.
"Master, I'm going to take a nap in the room. Three men crammed into a small space whispering secrets—what an awful sight and terrible for our pride."
"Hey, Night. Don't be so realistic..."
Night's words made me frown. I didn't want this either. I'm only humoring them because they don't look like they're going to give up.
"Whatever. Let's go."
They released the arm Kyousuke had been holding, but with one of them in front and one behind me, they escorted me up to the lookout. It felt overly strict—did I really look that eager to run?
"So what do you want to talk about?"
The lookout was too small for three armed men to sit facing each other, so we ended up in a strange arrangement: all three of us facing out to sea and talking. Fine, I still had to do the lookout duty, and it was a little better than listening to the hero's annoyingly perfect face up close.
"...Why do you fight so recklessly? With your power, you should be faster and have more composure in battle."
Sato started slowly with that.
Since he said it after the fight in Krul's town, he was probably talking about what he'd seen in the fight with Blythe Otto.
"Is that all you wanted to say?"
I had gotten grazed around the eye then, but thanks to the healing-magic tape, by yesterday there was no trace left. More serious was the wound in my flank from Mahiro's magic circle—the one that had torn me open. Hosoyama used healing magic after Crow's cremation yesterday, so that flank is closed up now too.
To me, that flank wound wasn't worth making a fuss over. Before I met Amelia in the labyrinth, I had cleared the Cantinen Labyrinth alone. This kind of injury doesn't count.
The worst injury I've taken was probably when Amelia, controlled by the physical puppet, stabbed my stomach. Second worst might be the ribs broken by the chimera in the Cantinen Labyrinth boss room. I've had all kinds of injuries on top of those. It's a miracle I haven't lost anything.
Still, if you say I could have fought with more composure, that's true. But thinking back on the journey, I didn't feel we had been in so much danger that it justified the criticism; it left me a bit unsettled.
"Akira, it's not 'just that.' You looked like you were going to die on purpose. Honestly, you're in a pretty dangerous state right now."
Kyousuke's concerned voice came from the side opposite the hero, and I fell silent.
"...That bad?"
"Yeah. If there's a reason, tell us."
A reason. Why I fight in a way that makes it look like I'm courting death.
Kyousuke's question made me think it over.
"How can I put it... fighting is fun for me. The give-and-take of life on the edge is thrilling. Fighting someone so strong that even with everything I've got I can't defeat them—those fights make me wish they would never end. There's no thought of recklessness or danger in it."
I wasn't always this combative. Maybe it started after I came to this world and actually felt my life in danger in the Cantinen Labyrinth. For a while I couldn't accept the change and rejected being a battle-crazed person, but after fighting the ogre king while gathering materials for the airship, that restraint fell away.
I like fighting. Especially fights against strong opponents.
Why? Why would I find joy instead of fear when facing death?