Death March to the Parallel World Rhapsody

Satou here. Being a hero is enough just in games for me.

How many games have I made with heroes in them...

◇

"So the second one is the hero of the Saga Empire, huh?"

I really don't want to get involved. If I accidentally come in contact, I'll probably get dragged into the Demon King extermination party.

"Yeah, and even though he's only eighteen, he has an old man's face that doesn't match his age. But he's handsome, muscular, and very hairy."

"Well, the appearance sounds fine, but what kind of personality does he have?"

"He's a perverted gentleman (loli lover). When I met him the first time, he was shouting strange things like 'YES! Lolita, NO! Touch,' and then got punched by his female attendant."

Arisa says this with a disapproving look.

"Aren't you the same type (shota) then?"

"I used to be, but not anymore! Now, I can wholeheartedly whisper love to boys—only now!"

Please just whisper—don't go beyond that.

"...By the way, isn't fifteen out of range for those with a boy preference (shota)?"

"Oh no, that's not true! His Adam's apple isn’t even visible, and even though it's this late, his chin is perfectly smooth, and his voice probably hasn't changed yet. I just checked, and even his legs are completely smooth without a single hair on the shins!"

Arisa kicks the blanket off and stands up shouting.

Please stop standing naked like that where everything is visible. Actually, put some clothes on.

"I get your point, so put something on before I give an order."

"Haa, haa, okay."

Out of breath, she answers and starts getting dressed. Don't sit back down on my lap while you do that.

...Somehow, I feel like my chastity is in danger.

"Let's stop getting sidetracked. I want to know about the hero's personality, not their fetishes."

"Well, how should I put it... He's a straightforward justice fool? If someone tells him 'that's evil,' he’ll rush straight into confrontation without a doubt. But since he has a glasses-wearing girl type strategist around him, I don’t think he'll be used by nobles or bureaucrats as a tool for war."

Not my type at all.

I’ve had friends like that, and those types drag you into things without considering your situation. I always felt I was being dragged around.

"Since he's called a hero, he must be strong, right?"

"Seems like it. I haven’t seen him fight, but when summoned, he was already level 50."

"Didn't you check his skills when you met him?"

"Of course, I did. He’s level 61 and has basic skills in sword and spear, plus skills that increase power and the number of hits. If you want, I can write down everything I remember next time."

"Yeah, please do."

I guess I should buy paper and a pen at dawn.

"But I don’t know his unique skills."

"You couldn’t see them with ability appraisal (status check)?"

"Nope, couldn’t see anything. Apparently, it’s because of the Holy Armor provided by the Saga Empire. Honestly, if they hid his skills too, it would be better."

Exactly. Is it a cost issue or a trick to lull opponents into complacency?

I guess the reason doesn't matter now.

"But he gave me a hint himself. Want to hear it?"

"Yeah, tell me."

"He said, 'My unique skill is contradiction.'"

That's basically giving away the answer, isn’t it? Arisa laughs.

If it’s something like Han Feizi’s paradox, that’s fine, but if it’s an ability that makes things not add up logically, that would be troublesome.

Alright, if I ever have to fight, I’ll run away with all my might!

◇

I’m losing the battle on my lap.

Since he looks like a child, I can’t just hit him. If he jumps at me, I’d try to grab him and throw him off...

Damn it, Arisa’s pretending to be sleepy and leaning on me.

"Boy, are you done asking questions?"

"Your character is inconsistent."

Arisa strokes my chin with her finger.

"Big brother, I’m sleepy now. Will you hold my hand until morning?"

"So sly!"

I scoop her up from my lap and roll her next to Lulu.

"I forgot to ask, when did you figure out my real identity?"

"If I were to say, from the start."

That’s a blow. I thought I was handling things well.