Published: July 29, 2025
I woke up at dawn, and the first thing I did was put on my tattered clothes.
There was no way I could wear a dress, or any nice clothes, for the work ahead. Originally, it was a natural white one-piece dress, but it had become pitch black with grease and soot. With this, I could do dirty work without worrying.
I drew water from the well in the courtyard and transferred it to the large jug in the kitchen. I went back and forth about twenty times.
I put firewood in the stove and lit the fire. Then, I placed the bread dough I had prepared the night before inside and covered it. While the bread baked, I made stew with vegetables and sausages.
I went to wake my parents, my younger brother, and the servants in their rooms. While they ate breakfast, I did the laundry.
A merchant’s assistant came by. I bought some ingredients, then handed over the bread I had baked and some woven cloth, receiving more money than I had paid.
When I returned to the dining hall, everyone had finished eating and left.
I gathered the small amounts left on everyone’s plates into one morning plate and ate it with the cold soup. Since Father disliked vegetables, my breakfast was full of them and very delicious.
After filling my stomach, I went to my room and sat at the desk.
…Yesterday, my elder sister died.
She disappeared a week ago. On the way to her fiancé’s place, the carriage fell into the canal, swallowed by the turbulent water. It happened near the royal capital, so a large-scale search was conducted, but she was never found. By the fifth day, her death was confirmed.
Before the extravagant wedding could take place, a silent and somber family funeral ended with her gone.
We received many congratulatory gifts from all over for the engagement. I wrote letters for all of them—first to thank everyone warmly, then to explain the change in circumstances.
I also had to return the gifts of money. I put the money I had just received from the merchant into the envelopes.
I signed Father’s name on the envelopes. For many years now, I have been writing letters on behalf of the Chadelan household.
Midway, I stood up and prepared lunch. Today’s family menu was Aglio e Olio with onions and zucchini, pumpkin salad, and ham piccata. For myself, I stir-fried vegetable peels and scraps in fat and poured them over scorched rice. I ate it standing. It was delicious. I finished before the family’s ham was cooked.
While the family ate, I returned to my room and worked until evening.
I made dinner and put away the drying laundry. When I went back to the dining hall, sadly, there was no food left today. I had only hot water, then cleaned the dishes, polished the floor, scraped out the ash from the stove, and set some aside as fertilizer for the vegetable garden.
I boiled a bath for the family, then cleaned the toilet.
I mixed manure and ash and scattered it over the garden. I harvested vegetables and then chopped firewood.
—After that, I went to the bath. The water was all gone. There was no choice but to undress in the courtyard and splash myself with well water. I wiped my wet body with old clothes. The tattered work clothes wouldn’t get worse than they already were.
More than that, my hair… was clumped and stiff like a ball of tangled yarn—much more bedraggled than the black cloth.
Dragging my tired and chilled body, I returned to the mansion.
I couldn’t sleep yet. I calculated the day’s income and expenses and recorded them in the ledger, then wrote out Father’s schedule for tomorrow… I had to prepare the bread for the next morning…
Ah, but I wanted to read a little.
Just one page, one line, even one character. I wanted to read letters before going to sleep.
Remembering the story from a distant foreign land that my elder sister had read aloud to me—the words of “Red Cat Tattered” she had performed with different voices, with her small, childish voice—
As I entered the mansion’s main floor, suddenly, a sharp slap landed across my face.
“It would have been better if you had died!”