Published: July 25, 2025
On the day Tulli went to her first apprentice job, I was stunned. I couldn’t properly do any of the tasks I was assigned.
I thought my modern knowledge would help, and if I tried, I could manage, but knowledge was useless here.
Tulli was such a great older sister.
First, I couldn’t even carry water. I was too weak to draw it from the well.
I could only scoop up tiny amounts at a time, climbing the stairs was exhausting, and carrying a full bucket of water required five trips. Of course, the amount needed wasn’t just a bucket, but a whole water bottle.
Mother helped carry water, but she filled a water bottle in the same time I filled a bucket.
I was useless.
I was told to light the hearth fire to prepare lunch.
I knew how to arrange firewood from a school camping training. I could stack thick wood with dry thin branches to allow air passage and put dry grass for kindling. I managed up to that point.
But I couldn’t light a fire. At the training, we used lighters. I had never used flint stones. I tried imitating Tulli.
“Ugh!?”
I struck the stones forcefully, and of course sparks flew. The sudden flash startled me so much I dropped the stones. It looked like fireworks and I thought I might get burned. Then I got scared and couldn't hit the stones with enough force.
In the end, Mother took over.
I was seriously useless.
I thought I could help with cooking, but I couldn’t.
The kitchen knife was too heavy; I couldn’t lift it without both hands. When I saw the bird ready to be prepared, I froze.
What I could do was only cut the ingredients, already partially prepared, with a small knife or provide recipes. I could do very little by myself. I was too short to stir the pot even when standing on a stool.
Mother praised my recipes, but I was honestly discouraged by my own incompetence.
I was truly useless.
“What’s wrong, Myne?”
Tulli, just back from her first job, spoke to me as I sulked gloomily. Mother answered with a wry smile in my place.
“…She helped out today, but she seems down because she couldn’t do anything right.”
“Huh? Now all of a sudden?”
Yes, now I fully realized it.
I was useless.
“I tried various things but couldn’t do any of them.”
“Well, now that you know the situation, just work hard, right?”
“And when it comes to cleaning, Myne’s the best.”
I had experience sweeping with a broom and wiping with a cloth, and those didn’t require much strength. Though if I tried too hard, I’d get a fever.
Besides, cleaning wasn’t really helping out for me. I just couldn’t stand an unclean environment. Already weakly sick, I was just improving my surroundings to avoid worsening my health. It was for myself, not for my family.
Back in modern Japan, everything was handled by machines, so I could clean, do laundry, and cook quite well, but here, that knowledge was useless.
Honestly, I didn’t expect it to be this hard. Tulli, who’s only a year older, can do it, so why am I so weak and useless?
If I were to reincarnate, I wish I had a stronger body, at least one that wouldn’t be a burden.
“Hahaha, Myne, you’re worried about being useless?”
“…Of course I am.”
“Well, that’s true, but your father never really expected much from you.”
“Huh?”
Wait, did he just say that with a smile without being too harsh?
I never thought I was someone worth expecting much from, but hearing my dotingly overprotective father say “I never expected much” so plainly was unexpected.
He lightly patted my stunned head and, to my surprise, tears welled up in his eyes.
“I’ve always thought you might die soon or collapse again. Just seeing you get healthier is more than enough.”
Tulli shrugged at Father’s words.
“I think Dad’s right, but if you stay like this, no one will hire you. You can’t do anything, after all.”
Tulli’s words made Father shake his head.
“No, you can work at the gate.”
“Huh? What work can Myne do?”
Tulli and Mother looked puzzled, but I didn’t understand why.
Had they never listened when I told them what I do at the gate? Or did they just not believe it?